Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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