she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
sex in a hospital.. check
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize