Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
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"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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