Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
A+ Viking dick
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