somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
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according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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