we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize