Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize