yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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