Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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