I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
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It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
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He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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