Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
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The strip club called, they have your shoe.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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