Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize