I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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