Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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