When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I have demons in me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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