Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize