We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize