He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize