I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Even my vagina gasped.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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