I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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