I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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