We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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