she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
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Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
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Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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