I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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