Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/hsj3
  Replies (14) Good night (598) Bad night (1672) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff http://tfl.nu/b3xl
  Replies (83) Good night (11903) Bad night (1136) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple

  (1-631): View more from New York

  whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple (1-631): whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread? http://tfl.nu/vnh0
  Replies (31) Good night (4224) Bad night (1364) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2 http://tfl.nu/k675
  Replies (47) Good night (3955) Bad night (9331) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you http://tfl.nu/n46y
  Replies (13) Good night (5323) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them. http://tfl.nu/kulz
  Replies (24) Good night (817) Bad night (3593) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits. http://tfl.nu/9n54
  Replies (10) Good night (1375) Bad night (3384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy. http://tfl.nu/4et1
  Replies (11) Good night (859) Bad night (3413) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him.. http://tfl.nu/o0zu
  Replies (12) Good night (1230) Bad night (2089) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality http://tfl.nu/1jam
  Replies (6) Good night (1294) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die? http://tfl.nu/yj8c
  Replies (11) Good night (1318) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back. http://tfl.nu/es5h
  Replies (14) Good night (1457) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen? http://tfl.nu/0v6w
  Replies (5) Good night (2284) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills http://tfl.nu/9anu
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  "But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): "But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!! http://tfl.nu/6byh
  Replies (3) Good night (1323) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt

Randomize