i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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