he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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