I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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