There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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