i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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