I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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