Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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