I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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