"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
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There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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