its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize