Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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