Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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