were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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