He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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