Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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