question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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