Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize