You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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