Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize