I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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