The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize