Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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