Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
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that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
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He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
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