someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize