You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize