You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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